Several cannibals were hired by a big corporation. “You’re part of the team now. Please don’t ruin things by eating any of your colleagues”, said the CEO.
The cannibals promised, but a month later the CEO came to them. “Everyone is happy with your work. However, one of our secretaries has disappeared. Do any one of you know what had happened to her?”
The cannibals shook their heads. After the boss left, the leader turned to his tribesman and say, “You fools! For weeks we’ve been eating managers and no one noticed. Who’s the idiot who went and ate the secretary?”
An elderly father noticed his son’s Viagra tablets in the medicine cabinet. “Could I try one?” he asked.
“Sure,” his son replied. “Bt make the most off it. Each of those pills costs ten dollars.
His dad was shocked by the price. “Don’t worry. I’ll pay you back.” He promised.
The next morning, the son found an envelop under his breakfast plate. Inside was $110.
“But dad,” he said, “That pill only cost $10.”
“ I know,” his father said, smiling. “The ten is from me. The hundred is from your mother”
A doctor dies and goes to heaven where he finds a long line at St.Peter’s gate. As is his custom, the doctor rushes to the front, but St.Peter tells him to wait in the line like everyone else. Muttering and looking at his watch, the doctor stands at the end of the line.
Moments later, a white-haired man wearing a white cloth and carrying a stethoscope and black bag rushes to the front of the line, waves to St.Peter and is immediately admitted through the Pearly Gates.
“Hey!” the doctor shouts. “How come you let him through?”
“ Oh,” says St.Peter, “That’s God. Sometimes he likes to play doctor”
A fellow went on a business trip with his boss, the cheapest man alive. One nite the boss was late getting back to the hotel. He said he’d met a young lady, they’d gone out and then he dropped her at her hotel. “Was she pretty?” the fellow asked.
“Was she?” the boss replied. “The entire cab ride to her hotel I could hardly keep my eyes on the meter.”
Have you heard of the cannibal
who loves fast food? He ordered a pizza
with everyone on it.
Question: Whats the difference between Eastern Europe and the United States?
Answer: The United States has a communist party.
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